Slowing down to create space

“Every day brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace” – Joan Borysenko

As you know, this past week I went from having two full-time jobs to one, as I left my 9-5 to focus on my business. I can see a new future stretching out before me, slowing down to the point where I don’t work 15-17 hour days in addition to the time on weekends.

Part of me is tempted to fully pack my new routine. I have always loved lists, goal setting, and dreaming. I love checking off to-dos and feeling accomplished at the end of the day.

I also know, however, that my sense of life balance is in serious need of support after this long haul with two jobs. I’ve forgotten how to intentionally rest, how to simply sit on the couch with a cup of tea and be present without picking up my computer. I’ve forgotten how to prioritize going on a walk, or how to play a game.

Two of the main themes of my life and business in 2015 are balance and intention.

Last week was tough. As you’ve likely experienced when working towards a big goal, there is the build up, the stress and late nights, the high energy that comes with getting closer to a deadline.

And then the deadline suddenly passes. I came home from work last Wednesday evening and collapsed on the couch when the exhaustion set in.

I spent the end of last week camped out on the couch, reading. I was frankly too exhausted to work on my business, to clean the apartment, or to do anything but snuggle under a blanket with my cats and read. I read 3 books and worked on a few mind-clearing techniques to help soothe my mind (I’ll share some of those with you soon!)

I’m only now, a week later, emerging from my exhaustion. 

Sometimes we truly have little control over how much there is to do, but also hidden in each day is a series of little choices. My natural inclination is to approach a busy day from a place of high stress, running from thing to thing without stopping, until the list is complete.

My choice moving forward will be the opposite. 

I recently watched a talk called ‘In Praise Of Slowness,” by journalist Carl Honore. He talks about the fascination of parts of the world with speed/efficiency/productivity, and about the growing interest in returning to a simpler, more balanced way of living. He said most people don’t slow down until they hit a breaking point, whether that be illness, burn out, etc.

The topic resonated with me completely, after the chronic burn out I’ve experienced over the past two years.

My choice in the past was stress, believing that being busy meant I was living a full life. My choice moving forward will be to live more quietly, slowly. To live with intention.

I’ve been experimenting with a new morning routine this week, incorporating in journaling and meditation and avoiding the computer until I’m fully ready for the day. The shift in my mental state heading into the work day has been profound. I’ve felt grounded and calm and ready.

I LOVE rituals, but there have been various moments each morning where I’ve resisted tuning in to the stillness. My brain has tried to say: you can meditate later, start working now.  It’s said you have so much to do, you can’t waste the time journaling!

And yet the 20 minutes I’ve spent doing both has fueled me through the rest of the day. It’s amazing what little tweaks in our lives can do.

Walking away from life as I’ve known it has given me this choice: to practice peace instead of stress, structuring my days and my projects to be fully aligned with what I need physically and emotionally.

And right now what I need is some space to ease into this new life.

Here’s to stillness,